Separate bedrooms: great or sad?

 


They are the death of romance. Nonsense: They keep the passion alive. Opinions differ on the subject of separate beds. An inventory - guaranteed not to be snarky.

On a tour of the apartment: the kitchen. "Great, so nice and big." The bathroom. "Small, but it has everything you need." Door open: "Ah, and that's your bedroom." "Yes, that's right - one of them." "Oh ..." What follows: awkward silence.

Couples who decide against the classic apartment layout are still among the exotics in Germany. In surveys, 90 percent say they share a bed with their sweetheart. Naturally. "What a strange question," resonates in this statement.

Separate beds - for many, that's a sure sign that things aren't going well in the relationship. "There's not much going on anymore," they say behind closed doors. "Like an old married couple" is another phrase that keeps coming up in this context.

But is it true? Are separate beds really a disaster for love? Why, then, do you so rarely hear women complaining that they miss their beloved guy's snoring so much? Why hasn't anyone started an online petition, motto: "Make more room for clunky dumbbells in our bedrooms!"

Seriously: there are at least as many good reasons for separate bedrooms as there are for sleeping together every night. We've collected a few of the top pros and cons. Can you think of any others?

Pro: Why separate bedrooms are great

Because we can set up the way we like it. No lazy compromises. And yes, that also goes for the ultra-kitschy bedding with the pom-poms on it.

Because then we can fall asleep when we want to. Without having to consider the sleeping rhythm of our partner.

Because we can ask our loved one the sexy question every night, "Are we going to my place or yours?"

Because we don't take going to sleep and waking up together for granted - it remains special even after years.

Because we don't wake up every few minutes because he's tossing and turning or sawing up entire Canadian forests in his sleep.

Because it's healthier: those who sleep better (because they're less disturbed) are less susceptible to illness.

Because we don't have to worry about sleeping late.

Because the pleasure is preserved longer.

Because not everything everyone else does is right for ourselves.

Because it's a cozy retreat within the four walls we share.

Contra: Why separate bedrooms are sad

Because we deprive ourselves of one of the most beautiful experiences in a relationship: falling asleep snuggled up to the one we love.

Because we unnecessarily sacrifice a room that we could use so much better.

Because we (unconsciously) distance ourselves more and more from each other.

Because we hardly see each other all day anyway.

Because a relationship is about compromise - not about doing your own thing.

Because we can't comfort each other directly when we have bad dreams.

Because we voluntarily give up body heat - demonstrably the most beautiful source of warmth there is.

Because we deprive ourselves of the chance to steadily build up more and more trust in each other.

Because studies suggest that shared bedrooms strengthen the bond - despite snoring and tossing and turning.

Because we might as well rent separate apartments.

Bottom line: there's no universal answer to the question "Separate bedrooms: yes or no?" Whether a couple wants to sleep in separate beds is a question that only these two can decide for themselves.

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